


Special 1 - Crisis of Identity

by stgjr



Series: "The Power of a Name" Series 3 - "Time Lord Penitent" [3]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra, Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005), Multi-Fandom
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Multiple Crossovers, Multiverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 16:31:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10903182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stgjr/pseuds/stgjr
Summary: Our narrator tries to help Korra heal from her poisoning by staying with her family in the Southern Water Tribe, but he must face his own issues if he is going to start healing as well.





	Special 1 - Crisis of Identity

**Author's Note:**

> This story is dubbed a special because I felt it was too long for a proper Short, but still wasn't Episode length. Specials in this storyline will from now on generally be a few stories that I felt didn't work as shorts or episodes due to length and importance in the story arc.
> 
> This was originally posted on November 3rd, 2014.

I had never lived in one place so long. Not counting John, anyway.  
  
Not that I didn't enjoy my time in the Southern Water Tribe. They were an energetic and friendly people. I enjoyed spending my spare time helping with infrastructure planning and the like, something to occupy my mind.  
  
The important part was Korra.  
  
The EMH's treatment had certainly moved up her recovery and some of the medical technology I had helped it along. But we didn't make it immediate. When you suffer the extensive damage Korra took, you don't get a magic button treatment that takes you from "crippled" to "walking" in one go. Well, outside of some very extreme and usually unsafe methods, and not recommended for someone carrying something like the Avatar Spirit. It would take Korra months, at a minimum, to regain the use of her legs with the aid of Katara.  
  
It was clear early on, however, that her spirit would take even more time.  
  
Korra's condition had been brighter during the voyage. Stopping Dorje from suffocating me had been a confidence boost. But the refreshed trauma of abduction and enforced helplessness had further opened the wound Zaheer left in her spirit. Once we arrived in the South, her condition began to slide again. Her appetite vanished and the bags under her eyes remained defiant against all attempts to get her to sleep naturally. Despite my warnings and that of the EMH, I got the feeling Korra had expected to be up and about in a week or two. It was finally dawning on her just how much damage she had suffered and how arduous her recovery would be.  
  
About two weeks after my arrival, I was returning from advising Tonraq and his fellow chiefs on some engineering matters when I was intercepted past the front door by Senna. The middle-aged Water Tribe woman had given quite a bit of her face to her daughter; I could imagine Korra looking much the same way in about twenty years. The stress lines on her face had grown in recent months, though, after the trauma of her brother-in-law's invasion and the near-execution of her husband. Now she had to watch her vibrant daughter move around in a wheelchair and suffer all of the signs of post-traumatic stress disorder. She was starting to look exhausted as well. "Can you help me?" she asked.  
  
"Certainly," I answered. "Do you want me to talk to Korra?"  
  
She shook her head. "I don't want to seem to be pushing her. I just... isn't there a way to heal her more quickly?"  
  
"No safe ways," I answered. "I mean, there are ways to radically and swiftly reconstruct damaged nerves and muscle tissue, but they carry high risks to Korra's health. This is truly the best way." I sighed. "Though I am certain her impatience is exacerbating her malaise."  
  
Senna nodded quietly. "Thank you," she said.  
  
  
  
A week passed. One morning I got up and did a little work in the TARDIS, checking her auto-repair functions and making sure the extensive damage from the vortex pocket was repairing more smoothly. When i was confirmed she was, I went about re-arranging the wardrobe a bit. I heard the knock on the TARDIS door and returned to the control room to open it.  
  
It was still dark out. Korra was in her wheelchair, dressed in her blue fur coat with white fur cuffs and borders and looking ready to go out and about. I raised an eyebrow and sat on the TARDIS stairs to face her. "So. Katara?"  
  
"Yeah," she said. The bags under her eyes were even darker. "Can you take me?"  
  
I nodded. "Sure." I stood up and walked around to push her wheelchair into the TARDIS.  
  
  
  
  
It became my custom to take Korra from the palace of the Southern Chief - her father's current home - to the White Lotus compound near the capital and Katara's home therein. When the weather required it we went by TARDIS; other times we went by motor-driven tractor or a sled pulled dutifully by Naga. Indeed that became the dominant method; it made more sense to give Korra time away from both places, to look out upon her home and to think. The cold Antarctic air was bone-chilling and the days so short that the entire span of daylight would be spent entirely at Katara's home. Once there they would have healing sessions. Some days I stayed the whole time, providing assistance and encouragement where necessary. Some days I had taken up obligations from Tonraq and returned to the city to fulfill them, to go back after night had fallen and Korra was due to go home.  
  
Korra was still in the wheelchair and was playing with Naga in the courtyard of the compound, throwing a rather sizable stick for the hulking polar bear dog to fetch, tail wagging all the way. I was standing alone in my purple parka looking up at the shimmering southern lights still visible in the daylight. Katara walked up beside me with a quiet grace, where we both watched Korra and Naga play. "Physically she's starting to recover," I noted. "A few more months and she'll be walking again."  
  
"Her spirit will need more time than that," Katara noted. "Her's and yours."  
  
I smiled sadly. "Yes, I suppose that I do come off as a sourpuss at times."  
  
"You should let go of your guilt," she said. "It is poisoning your spirit."  
  
I shook my head. "I need that guilt. I need it to remind myself of what I became. What I almost did." I looked off into the distance. "What I _did_ in grief and rage." I thought of those times. I thought about what I had been about to do when Nerys stopped me. That it had nearly cost a friend her life to keep me from committing mass murder filled me with guilt and shame.  
  
That got me a concerned look. "I know how those feelings can make you do terrible things," she said quietly. "You have to learn from that, yes. But you are letting them torment you."  
  
I said nothing in response. She was right. What more was there to say?  
  
"You won't even let people use your name anymore," she continued. "Think of that. You're rejecting your name."  
  
"It wasn't mine," I said. "It was the one I picked. One I should never have taken."  
  
"Names have power," Katara agreed. "But they are not everything. We are what we choose to be."  
  
"And I chose to go beyond my boundaries. I thought I was just as good as the Doctor without learning his restraint," I said silently. "I let that go to my head. I believed I could change anything and make it work. And I went _wrong_ because of it."  
  
"Doctors heal," Katara noted. "Doctors teach. They make the world better for their presence. Which you have."  
  
"Not every time." I shook my head.  
  
"Not every fight can be won. Sometimes winning amounts to making the best of a bad situation and surviving to the end of the day."  
  
I nodded. "Where there is life, there is hope," I agreed. "But I will not take up that name again."  
  
Katara looked at me quietly. "If that is your choice," she said. "But I'm worried about you. The wounds on your spirit are just as deep as those Korra has taken."  
  
I didn't dispute that. I could feel the pain every day. The tension in my being over my doubts and fears and regrets.  
  
"You are planning on leaving soon?", she asked.  
  
"In a few weeks, I imagine," I answered. "When I know Korra's recovery is on the road to completion."  
  
"Her recovery will take longer than you might think. I've seen the hurt inside of her."  
  
There was a short shriek of surprise. Naga finished playfully nudging Korra's wheelchair over into a packed snowbank. She landed in a puff of soft white snow and looked up, laughing and cradling her companion's muzzle as Naga licked Korra's face with apologetic enthusiasm that was all dog.  
  
"It's good to see her laughing and smiling," I said.  
  
"It is."  
  
"But she's still having trouble," I said. "Nightmares."  
  
"She will." Katara looked up at me. "As do you."  
  
I didn't deny that either. There were nights I fell off my hammock in the TARDIS screaming. Images of Katherine dying just as I reached for her or of worlds blowing apart at my will haunted me on those nights. What I had lost, what I could have become...  
  
"You've been here when Korra needed you," Katara said. "But I think you should consider coming more often."  
  
"She needs it?" I asked. I had been avoiding overdoing it for fear Korra would feel I was showing a lack of confidence in her.  
  
Katara shook her head. "You _both_ need it." With those final words, she walked back toward her home.  
  
I turned back to see Korra pulling herself back up into the wheelchair with a supportive nudge from Naga. With effort she pushed her snow tire-equipped chair across the field toward the healing hut.  
  
  
  
  
I followed Katara's advice. I stayed more often. We talked, or rather Katara talked with both of us in a tentative attempt to start some group therapy. And every day, it seemed Korra was getting a little bit stronger. I was there the day she first made it down the entire length of the bars and embraced Naga. Four days later she didn't stumble while working her way down the bars.  
  
Day by day, progress trickled in. Korra started getting in and our of bed without assistance. She would climb on her own into the snow tractors that took us out to Katara's compound. She would walk around the house, gingerly, but with increasing confidence and for longer periods.  
  
The weeks turned into months.  
  
Physically, she was healing well.  
  
Spiritually... like me, she was still badly scarred.  
  
Don't get me wrong. The pain was definitely getting better. In my case, I was able to handle reminders of what I'd done with greater control over my emotional response. I stopped grimacing or sighing when someone made a slip and called me 'the Doctor'. But this was not a malady that would be cured quickly either, regardless of Katara's best efforts.  
  
But enough about me. I wasn't the important one. Korra was. And her recovery was starting to have an effect. Korra's panic attacks grew less frequent. She got restful nights of sleep more often and her mood picked up.  
  
Indeed, we made progress, but the road was long and hard, and we were not near the end of it.  
  
Time can fly when you get into a routine. Before I knew it, I had spent the better part of a year in the South. And it was time for the Glacier Spirits Festival.  
  
We met the boat in the main harbor. Korra insisted on standing and her parents relented, seeing it was necessary for her confidence. Tenzin stepped down from the boat, leading the others. Well, most of the others. I didn't see Jinora with him. Nor did I see Mako or Bolin. Asami was right behind Tenzin and, after him, would be the first to embrace Korra. "You're walking? Already?" She looked from Korra to me. "Is this from you?"  
  
"No, I can't take credit. It comes from Korra being strong and Katara pushing her even further," I said. I allowed the young futurist engineer to hug me. "How goes business? Good work on that contract to rebuild the city."  
  
"We're rebuilding Republic City to work around the spirit wilds," Asami answered. "People are trusting Future Industries again. I can even afford to take a little vacation now." Her smile curled upward.  
  
I didn't react to that. "Well, glad to hear it."  
  
"Sir." Tenzin looked at me. "It's good to see Korra getting better."  
  
"It is. I don't see the others?" I asked the question for Korra.  
  
"Mako is doing important work back in Republic City, under President Raiko's direct orders," he answered. "Jinora is at the Eastern Temple training the Airbender children we've rescued. And Bolin..."  
  
"...is with Kuvira," Korra finished for him. "He's sent me some letters already."  
  
"Oh." I blinked. "Kuvira? Wasn't she one of Suyin's people?"  
  
"Yes. She's leading an army in restoring peace to the Earth Kingdom," Tenzin explained. "They've done quite well already with stabilizing Ba Sing Se and the area around it."  
  
"An army restoring peace." It made sense to an extent, but armies alone wouldn't truly restore peace. With a glance toward Korra I ignored the issue. I nodded, offering Tenzin my hand. "Well, if Bolin is willing to work with her, I suppose she's not a bad sort. Here's hoping she employs that power wisely."  
  
"Yes. With Kuvira on the job, the Earth Kingdom will...."  
  
I frowned quietly. Tenzin winced in pain. Not from the frown, of course, but as I applied my strength to the handshake enough to crush his hand. I forced the frown into a thin smile and shifted my eyes slightly toward Korra. She was already lowering her eyes from her own thoughts. He seemed to understand and let it trail off. "It's good to know Korra will be healthy again soon," he said instead. "With her returning I have full confidence the world will be back in order."  
  
I answered that with a nod and let the introductions continue.  
  
  
  
  
The banquet of honor was held and was unremarkable. I met Eska and Desna, Korra's cousins and the co-chiefs of the Northern Tribe, and Fire Lord Izumi with her father Zuko appearing as well. I mostly stayed to the side. I was a visitor to this world despite my long stay. Best to let others keep the spotlight.  
  
Afterward we went to the carnival. The Southern Tribe had defiantly maintained their festive atmosphere despite Northern opposition, the lone concession being a formal tribal ceremony to start it. Spirits were present, flying about and looking around at the festivities, and they frankly didn't seem to mind. Korra was reluctantly back in the wheelchair, although I had seen the brief glimpse of relief when she had sat down after standing and walking so far. "I should be able to walk by now," she mumbled irritably as we entered the area with the carnival games.  
  
"You walked for much of the day," I pointed out. "Don't push yourself too hard."  
  
"But..." She bowed her head.  
  
I realized what the problem was at that point. "All of that talk about Kuvira is getting to you, isn't it?"  
  
There was a quiet nod in reply. "Who needs the Avatar when the world has Kuvira and the Airbenders?"  
  
I sighed. "Korra, I don't..."  
  
"I don't want to talk about it," she said, cutting me off. She looked up at an active game and smiled. "I remember that one."  
  
I looked over and saw a vendor who was holding a squirt gun game. Children were firing squirt guns made up like fish into the open mouths of small figures of Aang. The ports were small, making it hard to get enough water flowing into them to push the flying lemur cutout above the figures into the bell above. I looked back to her. "Last year?"  
  
"Yeah." She pulled her eyes away. "Mako and I came to the carnival together."  
  
Oh. Oh, I was _not_ up to walking into this particular minefield. "I know you miss them all," I said carefully, avoiding the specifics of her failed romance.  
  
"Can't you take me back in time and let me talk some sense into myself?", she asked bitterly.  
  
I laughed, trying to make it more jolly than bitter. "No more than I could do the same to myself," I said quietly. "Paradox. Time doubles over, falls down, goes boom. Very bad. Well, more of a crunch, or a splat, or even a splort. But still bad."  
  
"Yeah." She looked up. "Splort?"  
  
"Splort," I said in my best "wise" tone. "Those are quite bad."  
  
We continued along a little bit. There was no conversation and I could see from Korra's body language that she was lost in regrets. "You're absolutely determined to be miserable tonight, aren't you?"  
  
"Gee, it's only the anniversary of when I started losing touch with my boyfriend _and_ turned against my father and my mentor for my uncle. The one who tried to kill us all and destroy the world." Her frowned deepened. "I'm not sure I'll ever enjoy this festival again."  
  
She went very quiet. I drew in a sigh. I spied out another of the carnival games, involving throwing Water Tribe boomerangs at ever smaller targets for higher reward points, the more targets hit the higher the multiplier. A giant polar bear dog plushie was the top prize and given the list of prize points would require virtually perfect accuracy with a rather large chain. I let myself have a grin. "I'll make you a deal." I turned her wheelchair enough to show her the gaming stand. "If I win you that plushie of Naga, you have to enjoy the rest of the evening. If I don't, then... well, I suppose you can continue to _not_ enjoy the evening, not sure what else I can concede."  
  
I thought I saw a twitch of a grin on her face. Korra lifted her eyes to look at the game. "Nobody has ever won the top prize to that one," she said.  
  
We had drawn close enough that the proprietor heard her and bellowed, "And that's where you're wrong, Avatar! We had a grand prize winner once! In my father's time, but still a winner!" He gestured to a black and white photograph. A man was in it, with Water Tribe facial features, smiling a goofy smile and hoisting a boomerang in one hand and another polar bear dog plushie under his other arm. The wolf tail hair style made me recognize the face. "Yes, Chief Sokka himself won, and in only three tries!"  
  
Ah. And that certainly inspired legions of young Southern men to try and repeat the feat to impress friends and lovers. I looked at the targets and tried to keep my smile from turning wolfish while I pulled out some currency. Tonraq had insisted I be given a stipend on his personal funds and pointing out I was getting sustenance from him wasn't enough. "Three tries eh? I bet you I beat Sokka's record."  
  
"Ha," the man laughed. "Welcome to try, sir, but I doubt it. Here you go."  
  
As it turned out, I was having a bad day. I only tied Sokka's record.  
  
....granted, that was also while throwing the boomerang from twice the distance. I was trying to be fair. Time Lord brain and all.  
  
It was worth it, though, given Korra kept a smile on her face for the rest of the night. I think it was the look on the proprietor's face when I did it.  
  
  
  
  
After the festivities and the winding down ended, I was heading to the TARDIS to go to bed. I stepped onto the balcony where the TARDIS was kept and a figure was waiting for me. Asami was not yet tucked into bed for the evening, it seemed. "You actually got Korra smiling like that?" she said.  
  
"Yes. Practical application of mathematics and a bit of a throwing arm," I replied, being vague intentionally. "So, how may I help you?"  
  
I had realized what she was going to ask before she did. "I want to come with you," she said intently. "For a while. I want to see other worlds."  
  
I remained silent for the moment. "Your company?" I asked.  
  
"I've got a good Board of Directors in place," she said. "I can take a vacation. And you're a time traveler, we could be gone for months and come back a week or a day after I left, right."  
  
I gave her a nod. "True, very true. But you are aware that it may not be safe?"  
  
That won me a look. "Is it less safe than anything I've done with Korra?"  
  
"Actually, yes," I said. "There are things out there, Asami. Terrible things. Monsters and beings that are terrifying beyond anything you've yet to imagine. Just because the rest of Creation is pretty and has some good tourist stops doesn't mean it's not full of gribbly things that want to eat your body or your mind or your spirit, or some combination thereof. Some don't even wait until you're dead."  
  
Asami swallowed. And then her face hardened into resolve. "I understand. I still want to go. I'd regret it forever if I didn't go."  
  
I remained silent for the moment. "Come back in six months," I said, finally.  
  
"Why six months?"  
  
"Because at Korra's current recovery rate, she'll be physically recovered. And she may have recovered emotionally enough that I can go. I'll talk to you then," I said. "I mean it. Come to me in six months and say you're still interested."  
  
"And you'll let me go with you?"  
  
I sighed and nodded. "Yes," I replied. "I will."  
  
I stepped beside her and opened the TARDIS. I entered it and eyed the hammock. I never really bothered sleeping in the recliner in my library anymore. Easier to be in the hammock should someone come to the TARDIS door for me.  
  
Asami stood at the door. "I know with everything that's happened you probably don't want to hear this. But... no matter what you think, you're still the same person you were before. You're the Doctor."  
  
I didn't react immediately. Slowly I turned to her. "I'm just myself now," I said. "No need for a name like that."  
  
"If that's what you want," she said. "Good night." She stepped out of the TARDIS.  
  
As I climbed into the hammock I grumbled to myself. What was I doing? Asami had a life here. She was virtually a sister to Korra - yes, _sister_ , you shipping maniacs! - and if something happened to her, it would certainly cost Korra her emotional recovery. How could I risk all of that?  
  
Because... that was what Asami wanted. She was going to choose this. I had no authority to tell her what to do.  
  
_You could refuse to let her go_ , a voice in my head reminded me. He repeated when I thought about how that might impact our friendship. Indeed, my friendships with others too.  
  
And there was a part of me that imagined the engineering marvels I could show the young woman. I could imagine her green eyes lighting up with glee at the sight of Coruscant or the Citadel or Layom Station. She could wonder at the ocean cities of the Akrakas. The crystal spires of Tuzanor and Yedor.  
  
My hearts felt warm at those thoughts. It was what I wanted to get back to doing. Seeing the wonders of Creation and enjoying the astonished looks of a Companion as they beheld such wonders for the first time.  
  
I settled into the hammock. And I fell asleep.  
  
  
  
  
I was surrounded in a haze of gray. I felt cold and tired. Befuddled. Terrified.  
  
Asami's voice echoed to me. " _You're the Doctor._ " Her voice was joined by a legion of others. People I had met on my travels. Friends I had worked beside. Fought beside.  
  
"Oh really?"  
  
An old man stepped up to me through the haze. My mouth opened mutely at recognizing the narrow face, the nose, the scornful look.  
  
The First Doctor appraised me and waved dismissively. "You don't look like you could be me. You look like a child playacting a role he saw at the theater."  
  
And like that, he was gone. Something bumped me and I turned.  
  
The Second Doctor was appraising me with a close look. "Entirely too direct. You can't hide anything very well, can you? No, you can't be me. Maybe with a bit more experience."  
  
You can guess how it went. I would turn again. The Third Doctor gave me a hard stare. "Irresponsible," he said, scowling. "Foolish. You have shown poor judgement."  
  
"But a good heart, though." The Fourth Doctor gave me a sympathetic look and held up a bag. "You wouldn't happen to want a jellybaby?"  
  
In my haze I extended a hand weakly. He offered a red one. I felt the grainy texture in my hand before dropping it in my mouth. It tasted sweet when it hit my tongue.  
  
"Why would you want to be me?", he asked, his eyes sad. "You know what my life is like. Why would you take my name?"  
  
And the scarf-wearing icon vanished.  
  
"You don't have another name. Right." The Fifth Doctor put a sympathetic hand on my shoulder. "It's alright. I'm not upset. I just wish you had shown more wisdom."  
  
A hand grabbed my shoulder and whirled me about. The Sixth - yes, he was in that horrid outfit - glared at me. "You idiot!", he said. "You gave up any hope of becoming your own man! And for what? To walk in my shoes?" He pointed to his gaudy-looking shoes. "Seriously, you dimwitted...?"  
  
"Now now, no need for that." A cane interceded. The Seventh Doctor moved in as the Sixth vanished. He appraised me with a narrow look. "You really should have thought ahead, though. Always stay one step ahead! Now you're locked into the course."  
  
I closed my eyes in the dream, wanting things to make sense. When I opened them, I faced the Eighth. He was as he appeared at the end of his life. Ragged and worn. "You took on a heavy burden," he said to me. "You used a name that you should never have touched. And it's a part of you now."  
  
"And a responsibility. "I heard the gruff voice and saw the War Doctor to my side. "Whether you use the name or not, it's what you do that matters. Because it's going to stay with you, all of it."  
  
"And you can't walk away from it!" The Ninth Doctor stepped up to me, looking at me intensely. "It's in you." He put his finger over my left heart, as if I were a Human. "In there. In here." He tapped my temple. "It's not going away."  
  
"But..." I swallowed. "I'm not you. I'm not even close to you. It was an act of... of impulse, and it went out of control. It became all I had! And then..." I could barely mouth the words. "Time Lord Triumphant."  
  
"I know. I've been there before too." I turned to the new voice. The Tenth Doctor walked up to me. "And I wish there was something I could do for you. But it's too late." His brown eyes were full of sadness. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."  
  
"Please..." I finally went to my knees and felt tears on my cheeks. "I didn't mean it! I didn't..." I closed my eyes. "I just want to know. I'm tired of not knowing..."  
  
A hand touched my shoulder. I opened my eyes. The Eleventh Doctor looked at me, bowtie and all. His eyes were focused on me. "Come on now, buck up. It's not over yet. You've still got time. You can do it."  
  
"Do what?", I asked through my tears. "What can I do?"  
  
The Doctor gave me an encouraging grin. His face curled into a boyish smile. " _Remember._ "  
  
In my dream state I heard that word, spoken with such clarity, such conviction, that I couldn't resist it. I focused my thoughts. I wanted to remember who I was. I wanted to know... "Who am I?", I muttered.  
  
"Keep going," the Doctor urged. "Come on, now, you're starting to get it."  
  
I breathed in and focused harder.  
  
I felt... something. I saw something. A...an office building lobby? Computer screen, a monitor... Christmas decorations.  
  
And then things blurred. Pain filled me. My eyes opened and I saw.. shadows.  
  
I could hear voices but not make them out. They were too garbled.  
  
Then, one managed to come through.  
  
" _...serve our purpose. It must... done..._ "  
  
I strained, trying to hear. No, not just that. Trying to _remember._ "Who am I?", I asked the shadows.  
  
They didn't respond. And I couldn't understand what they were saying.  
  
"Who am I?", I repeated, almost shouting.  
  
And for a moment I thought I saw the shadow turn toward me. A flicker of recognition passed through my head. A face. I thought it was a face. A face I knew.  
  
And then the pain slammed my head. I felt like my brain was being skewered. I screamed in agony even as I tried to hold onto the face. But it slipped away before I could realize who it was.  
  
Suddenly I felt like I was falling. There was a hard impact that took the breath out of me. I woke up in the TARDIS, screaming, " _Who am I?!_ " unconsciously as I did so.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
I looked to the source of the urgent voice. Korra was standing gingerly in the entrance. The first cracks of dawn were showing outside of the TARDIS door. "You kept screaming," she continued.  
  
"I..." I wiped a brow. Sweat was there, undoubtedly from the pain. Shadows of it still flickered in my head. "Sorry. I was having a bad dream."  
  
A sympathetic look came to her face. "Yeah. I know what that's like." She looked back to the door. "Are you..."  
  
"I'm getting up, yes, and I'm up to taking you out to Katara," I said, getting to my feet.  
  
"But you haven't had any breakfast..."  
  
"Oh, I'll be fine," I insisted. "We ate well last night anyway."  
  
I'd regret it later, of course, when we were an hour from lunch and my stomach started growling.  
  
  
  
  
I told Asami to come back in six months. During those six month's Korra's physical state continued to improve. More frequently she was walking on her own power. Two months after the festival she began bending exercises using her legs again and began to return to form.  
  
But her spirit stopped improving. Every time she pushed too far and found she still wasn't back in top form, it gnawed at her. The nightmares still came in the night. And as word came of successes by the Airbenders and by Kuvira in restoring peace to the world, her irritation with her condition grew.  
  
As for myself... the dreams varied. Some were flashbacks to Nerys dying in the fuel control chamber at Parakar. Jan and Cami taken as Borg. Katherine being blown up as I reached to save her. Sometimes the dreams mixed with horrors that could have been, whether it was Jan and Cami being taken as Sith slaves again or Katherine falling into a black hole. My first visit to Layom Station and not saving Abby. Lots of stuff.  
  
Sometimes I was a moment too late and found Korra's corpse amongst the Red Lotus.  
  
And then there were the other dreams. Dreams of what I did as the Time Lord Triumphant.  
  
But no dreams like that one the night of the festival. I didn't see the other Doctors again, or the shadowy figures. After a while I had trouble remembering the details of what I did see.  
  
A few days to the six month mark after the Glaciar Spirits Festival, Korra asked for Tenzin to come visit her. He came in not by sky bison but by airship. Asami was coming back. I suspected her answer would be the same.  
  
I was standing to the side of the sparring mat, under the wooden structure, and watching with Asami as Korra lined up with three Firebenders for a firebending exercise. I watched her start to fight them. Her movements were better than before. She moved with purpose and strength. "Attack! Come on, I can take it!"  
  
The men looked at each other and moved forward, throwing fireballs right back. She deflected the first few. When a big one came at her she plunged through it eagerly.  
  
And then she hesitated. Her posture shifted from confidence to fear. Further attacks slammed into her fire-retardant armor and the blast of the heated air sent her flying backward. She lashed out wildly, sending flames into the air but with no direction, no control. A blast finally sent her spinning to the ground.  
  
Tenzin moved swiftly. He jumped in front of them, his right hand held up, and called an end to the match. I lowered my head. "Physically she's recovered. But that's not enough."  
  
"I see." Asami looked at her friend as she pulled off her helmet in frustration and exchanged words with Tenzin. We couldn't hear them - well, Asami couldn't, while I kept myself from listening in - and continued to speak between each other. "I thought about it. And my decision hasn't changed."  
  
I nodded. "Well. When Korra's better, I'll let you know."  
  
"Yeah." Asami shook her head. "I thought she was looking better..."  
  
"She sleeps better now, yes. Her body has regained strength and the damage is all but healed. But she's not ready to go back out."  
  
"Well, at least she's not urgently needed..."  
  
"That's part of the problem," I said quietly.  
  
"And how are you doing?" She looked at me.  
  
"Oh, getting along. Harbor expansion has come along nicely," I said absentmindedly.  
  
"That's not remotely what I meant," she said. "How are _you_?"  
  
I looked at her. "Oh, still a madman with a box," I finally answered. "And with no name. Getting used to that. People are actually remembering not to call me by the old one."  
  
That seemed to make her sad. "I'm not going to change my mind, even if it takes another year for Korra to get better." Asami stepped away from me as Korra finished talking to Tenzin. "I'm going to see if Korra needs me."  
  
"See you at dinner."  
  
I watched her walk off. Katara returned to her hut and Tenzin came to me. "I was hoping she was feeling better," he said.  
  
"Physically she's near to form again," I said. "Mentally..."  
  
"I noticed." He sighed. "But we could use her. I've heard reports about Kuvira that I don't like."  
  
I crossed my arms. "Oh?"  
  
"There are people who say she strong-armed some of the eastern states," he said.  
  
"Confirmed?", I asked.  
  
He shook his head. "No. Just rumors for now."  
  
I didn't like that. I also didn't like the other consequence. "So you're worried about what Kuvira's doing."  
  
"I would just feel better if Korra was back." Tenzin shook his head. "But I can't rush her. She's not ready."  
  
"It doesn't help her, you know," I said. "She's impatient enough, and every time she hears about your people and Kuvira doing her job it's jabbing an open wound in her spirit."  
  
"Exactly why I can't rush her."  
  
"Except that just makes her feel more rushed." I crossed my arms.  
  
"I can't help how Korra likes to be contrary, she's very stubborn." Realizing his tone was probably a bit to snappish, he relaxed his expression. "Do you have any ideas?"  
  
"I'm afraid that I don't," I said. "And ultimately... neither of us can do anything about it. The decision has to be hers. She's an adult now and we have to respect that."  
  
Tenzin nodded. "Alright, you make a good point." He walked back toward his mother's hut.  
  
  
  
  
Night came, with it dinner, and I returned to the TARDIS as was my custom. I put a hand on her surface. "Sorry, girl," I mumbled. "I know you like to travel to. But... it's something I have to do. I..."  
  
I heard the noise of feet hitting the floor. I turned and saw Korra looking at me. "Getting ready for bed soon?"  
  
"I wanted to talk first," she said. "I've been thinking a lot lately."  
  
"Yes."  
  
She took in a breath. "I need more time, that's all. I just... I need more time. I froze and..."  
  
"Korra, nobody is expecting you to come back immediately," I said softly. "This is something you need to work through."  
  
She glowered. "Now you sound like Tenzin."  
  
I thought on that. "Really?" My mouth hung open. "Why, I think you're right. Oh dear." I smiled wryly. "Granted, it doesn't mean I'm _wrong_."  
  
Korra crossed her arms and kept up the glower. "That's not what I'm here to talk about. Asami and I have spent the day talking."  
  
That caused me to sigh. "Ah. Yes, of course. She's... talked to you about her vacation plans?"  
  
"She wants to go with you and see things," Korra said. "But you won't leave yet."  
  
I shook my head vigorously. "Not until you're ready for me to."  
  
"But I am," she said. "You've been here long enough. And..."  
  
"I'm not leaving until I know you're going to be okay," I said. "I _have_ to do this."  
  
"I don't want..."  
  
" _I need to_ ," I said, interrupting. "Because I _should have been there before_. Then you would still be connected to the old Avatars and Zaheer would never have..."  
  
" _Would you shut up and listen to me?!_ " Korra shouted.  
  
I stopped, my mouth open. I blinked. "Okay," I said. "I'm sorry."  
  
"I don't need you to be sorry," Korra said. "I need you to understand what I'm going through. I need you to realize that I'm tired of nightmares. I panicked out there today and I don't know why! I need to solve this and..."  
  
I kept my lips pursed.  
  
"And here you are, sticking around for what? You told me you can't change the past. Yours or mine. Fine, you can't. Stop moping about it! Staying here and driving me to Katara every day isn't going to bring back my connection to the old Avatars. It's not going to undo what Zaheer did to me. You could be doing so much more! And..." Her eyes focused on me. "I've talked to Asami about what she wants to do. It sounds great. In fact, it sounds like something I want to do."  
  
I looked at her pointedly. "Excuse me?"  
  
"I need time," she said. "You, Tenzin, and Katara are right about that. But... I can't do it here."  
  
"Korra..."  
  
She didn't let up. "I've made up my mind. I want to join you."  
  
I remained silent for a very long moment. "I told you before..."  
  
"...that it's dangerous, yeah," she said. "But so is staying here. Everything's dangerous. And I need to get away from this. I need to see the other worlds out there, maybe see if I can find what's wrong with my world. And what's wrong with me."  
  
"Korra." My teeth clenched. "Korra, changing where you are won't fix your problems."  
  
"You don't know that. While I'm here, I feel like I'm being torn apart! I want to get better and go back but sometimes..." She stumbled in her words for a moment. "...sometimes I wonder why."  
  
I looked at her intently.  
  
"Everyone says they need me," she continued. Her face had lowered. "But it looks like they don't. Everyone talks about the Airbenders and Kuvira being the ones restoring peace. And if they do that, what am I supposed to do? I'm stuck down here, trying to get myself back, and I'm not even sure why I'm bothering." Tears appeared in her eyes. "I've known I was the Avatar since I was a little girl. Everyone said the world would need me. But it doesn't right now. I don't have an army like Kuvira or the knowledge to build things like Asami, I... if the world doesn't need the Avatar, then what am I? _I don't know who I'm supposed to be anymore. I don't know who I am._ "  
  
Those words struck me hard. They echoed in my mind, joined by my own, and right then and there I knew... I knew I couldn't say no.  
  
It might turn out foolish. It might backfire. But... this was what we both needed. My words to Tenzin from earlier in the day echoed in my mind. Korra was an adult now. She had all the right in the world to make decisions for herself.  
  
She'd still make mistakes, of course. We all do. Experience doesn't stop accumulating because you reach the magic age of 18 or 21 or 30 or 55 or even 500 (just ask my dear friend Matriarch Aethyta). But they were her mistakes to make, just as it was her decision to make. And my choice was to give a word of advice and say yes or no, not browbeat her into agreeing with my answer.  
  
I stepped forward and gave her a sympathetic hug. She sniffled a little and I did too. We were lost in our own unique ways, woven together in a common need for identity. Korra had a name. I didn't. I had a purpose. She felt she had none.  
  
We could end up regretting her decision. There were plenty of arguments to say no, to point out the possible regrets.  
  
But if I said no, we would both be _certain_ to regret that answer.  
  
"Sleep on it," I said to her, my voice soft. "Then give me your final decision in the morning."  
  
  
  
  
Since I knew the day wouldn't start early, I ended up sleeping in. When I opened the TARDIS door to let in the morning sunlight, I was met by Korra and Asami. They were carrying bags. Naga sat beside them, her tail wagging. Korra's parents, Tenzin, and Kya and Katara were standing behind them, expressions varied. Tenzin looked concerned, and Korra's parents were trying to balance concern with supportive expressions. Katara and her daughter looked rather more pleased.  
  
"I made my decision," Korra said. She was actually smiling. It was the look of someone who had found an answer to something plaguing them and would not be dissuaded. "And it'll work out. I mean, you're a time traveler. We could be gone for months and come back later today, right?"  
  
I nodded. "Well, yes." I drew in a sigh. "I can't convince you to reconsider?"  
  
There was a glimpse of the old Korra's energy in her eyes. "No," she said. "I'm ready to go."  
  
"Well, I did tell you I'd be with you until you were ready for me to leave you," I said. "A gentleman and a Time Lord can't just give up on his promises, can he?" I nodded and looked to the others. "Tonraq, Senna, rest assured your daughter will be safe. You have my word."  
  
"We know you will." Senna held up a bag. I could smell the aroma of home cooking in them. "For your journey."  
  
"Korra's in good hands," Tonraq added, taking my hand in a handshake.  
  
I looked on to the others. "Tenzin, don't worry, we'll be back soon enough. By your reckoning anyway."  
  
"I admit I'm not very fond of this idea," Tenzin answered. "It's too dangerous. But Korra is an adult and makes her own decisions." Left unsaid was his clear disappointment that I didn't exercise my own adult decision to refuse her.  
  
Katara approached. "You will do well for each other," she said. "I have healed Korra as best as I can. The rest is up to her and to you." She reached up and just managed to put her hand on my shoulder despite our height differential. "Just as she needs to heal, so do you. Don't be afraid to talk."  
  
"I won't," I promised.  
  
And then I looked to Naga, who eyed the TARDIS unhappily. "No, girl," Korra said, stroking Naga's nose. "I'll be back soon anyway."  
  
I contemplated the logistics of bringing Naga. Disguising her in other worlds would be... well, something of a nightmare. Yet when I saw the look in Korra's eyes I sighed.  
  
I can be too softhearted.  
  
I raised my sonic. It whirred and the TARDIS door shifted destination. When I opened the door again and revealed an open space. It was the old park space I'd used for when I was doing Katherine's childhood birthday parties. Naga squeezed in happily. I eyed Korra, who was beaming. "You're responsible for walks," I said. I also contemplated that I would have to re-design the TARDIS interior, possibly. "And for food. And for all other animal care activities. And you have to realize we won't always be able to let her go with us."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"I mean it," I repeated. "There are worlds where we couldn't explain away Naga."  After Korra guided Naga into her new environment and stepped back out, I used the control to put the TARDIS door back to the main control room. I stepped in and gestured to the others. "Alright everyone. Do take care. Be back soon. For you anyway."  
  
There was waving from all as Korra and Asami boarded the TARDIS, bags in hand. I bounded to the control room. I felt an excitement that had been missing from my life for, well, too long. I twirled about and faced the door, closing it with a snap of my fingers. An eager smile crossed my face. "All right. I know you two young ladies aren't new to the TARDIS, but this is official business for traveling Time Lords and I feel compelled to repeat things for form. TARDIS stands for Time And Relative Dimensions In Space. And she's mine. She is bigger on the inside. She can go _anywhere_ in the six dimensions of reality. Every planet, every star, _every time_. And until I show you how, do not touch _anything_ in the controls. You could shift us into the Big Bang. Well, one of the Big Bangs. And before we go anywhere, the last thing you must remember, the absolute most important thing you must know..." I leaned in close to them. "...is that I am definitely a madman in a box. And that could save all of our lives some day."  
  
They smiled at each other and looked at me eagerly. "Where are we going first?" Asami asked.  
  
"Good question. A very good question." I started turning dials and flipping switches. "But there's a better question." I grinned widely at them. "Where _can't_ we go?" I let them stew in the anticipation for a moment and grabbed the TARDIS control lever. As I did, I realized just how much I _missed_ this. It felt _good_ to be doing this again. Name or no name, I was a Time Lord with a TARDIS and the whole of Creation at my fingertips. Exploring that eternity seemed like the most enjoyable thing someone could do.  
  
For the first time in years, I let out a joyous laugh and said the two magic words.  
  
"Tally ho!"  
  
And I pulled the lever.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this storyline commences the "Korra and Asami as Companions" Arc. Which was not as long as I'd planned, as I had numerous distractions in November and December 2014 that delayed my work, and I had committed myself to ending their Arc by Christmas with their final episode and return home setting up my 2014 Christmas Special. Because, y'know, Doctor Who always has a Christmas Special. ;-)
> 
> As you'll notice from the dates, I was writing this concurrent to Book 4's release. Due to the storylines of that last season we didn't get quite the same amount of Korra and Asami interactions, the kind that in Book 3 turned "Korrasami" from "crackship" to "OMG are they actually going to do it?!". I, for the record, was not in the latter group. I recognized that their relationship was clearly developing closer, but between my disbelief that Nickelodeon would ever let them do it and perhaps some of that heteronormative lensing effect that Bryan Konietzko later referred to, I took it as Korra and Asami becoming platonic girlfriends, more like adopted sisters. And I wrote accordingly.
> 
> Then the finale aired as I was writing the last episode in their arc. ;-) I called that one wrong, didn't I? It's why I'm not willing to dismiss, for instance, the likelihood of the "Supercorp" ship of Kara and Lena Luthor over on CW's "Supergirl" series.
> 
> Anyway, I'm giving you background on my tagging decisions, as I am not going to tag Korra and Asami's relationship in these stories until the point in the TPOAN storyline where I had learned what the canon relationship ended up being, and I had thus begun writing accordingly. And getting a bit of fun at the poor SI-Doctor's expense. ;-)


End file.
